All rise! Case of Arizona Cardinals wideout Marvin Harrison Jr. v. Haters goes to court

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  • Arizona Cardinals fans are frustrated with Marvin Harrison Jr.’s performance after his rookie season.
  • Harrison’s supporters argue he needs more time to develop and that his rookie stats are comparable to other successful receivers.

Order in the court!

(Cue the dramatic music of a daytime courtroom TV show. Think “The People’s Court” or “Judge Judy”.)

The plaintiffs, bitter Arizona Cardinals fans who are convinced nothing good can happen to them, watched the defendant, Marvin Harrison Jr., make 62 catches for 885 yards and eight touchdowns as a rookie. But they think Maserati Marv has turned out to be a lemon.

“I’ve seen a lot of drops … No suddenness to his in and out of cuts,” former Washington coach Jay Gruden said near the end of Harrison’s rookie season.

“I still think he’s got the ability to become a very good football player. Quite honestly, I’ve just been disappointed.”

The plaintiffs are suing for breach of contract, saying the defendant has failed to fulfill his obligation as a No. 4 pick in the 2024 NFL Draft. They want Harrison to get it in gear or park it on the bench as the Cardinals go get Keenan Allen or Amari Cooper off the waiver wire.

The defendant, Marvin Harrison Jr., thinks Year 2 is going to go a lot better than Year 1and his supporters say he had a fine rookie season.

His defense team is countersuing for harassment, saying the Bird Gang fan base is trying to shove him from the nest too soon and that Harrison has been singled out for unfair treatment in a hostile work environment. They’re asking for some support as Harrison tries to help the Cardinals return to the playoffs for only the second time since the 2015 season.

“We’ve got to make the playoffs,” Harrison said on May 19, speaking to reporters at the Cardinals’ headquarters in Tempe. “This is the year … We have all the pieces we need. We just have to go out there and execute.

“They brought me here to help this team win games. So, improving, to me, means we win more games than we won last year.”

All rise! This court is now in session. The honorable judge Gregory G. Moore Jr. presiding. You may now be seated.

Judge Moore: Start with the plaintiffs.

Bitter Cardinals fans: Your honor, Marvin Harrison Jr. has been a disappointment. He was the first player selected after quarterbacks went 1-2-3 in the 2024 draft.

He was taken ahead of Malik Nabers, Brian Thomas and Ladd McConkey, all of whom had more catches and yards than Harrison.

Harrison is just the latest first-round disappointment we’ve had to put up with.

Marvin Harrison’s supporters: Your honor, we object. Josh Rosen, Robert Nkemdiche and Isaiah Simmons have no relevance here.

Judge Moore: Objection sustained. Although, Darius Robinson isn’t doing your client any favors, either. Defendants, let’s hear from you. What do you have to say here?

Marvin Harrison’s supporters: Your honor, our client is being held to an unreasonable standard. This franchise hasn’t had a 1,000-yard wide receiver since DeAndre Hopkins in 2020.

Judge Moore: What about Trey McBride?

Marvin Harrison’s supporters: He’s a tight end, your honor. And we’ll have more on him later.

Judge Moore: Carry on.

Marvin Harrison’s supporters: Judge, our client had a better rookie season than Larry Fitzgerald and a nearly identical rookie season to his Hall of Fame father, Marvin Harrison Sr.

Judge Moore: OK, back to the plaintiffs. Prove your case.

Bitter Cardinals fans: Fitzgerald?! Harrison Sr.?! Your honor, it was a totally different NFL in those days. You have to adjust those totals for rule-change inflation: One receiving yard back then was like 2 or 3 yards today!

Marvin Harrison’s supporters: Objection! Speculation.

Judge Moore: Meh … I’ll allow it, but tread carefully, plaintiffs.

Bitter Cardinals fans: Your honor, the pro football world is trying to act like Ohio State is Wide Receiver University, but has anyone been paying attention to what’s happening at LSU?!

Ja’Marr Chase! Justin Jefferson! Brian Thomas! Malik Nabers!

Why can’t Harrison be more like these guys?

And he’s not even the best of the Buckeyes! Wouldn’t you rather have Garrett Wilson, Jaxon Smith-Njigba or a healthy Chris Olave?!

We need a true No. 1 wide receiver for Kyler Murray, and Marvin Harrison Jr. isn’t up to it!

Judge Moore: OK, let’s hear from the defendants. And let me just say for the record that another Buckeyes receiver, Santonio Holmes, was out of bounds in the 2009 Super Bowl.

Marvin Harrison’s supporters: Your honor, our client would like to speak to the Wide Receiver U controversy.

Judge Moore: OK, Mr. Harrison, you’re already sworn in. The court will hear from you now.

Marvin Harrison Jr.: Everyone wants the title of Wide Receiver U. (LSU has) some amazing guys on their end. We’ve got some amazing guys on our end, too.

Obviously, I’m going to always be biased and say Ohio State is Wide Receiver U, but they definitely have a good argument.

Judge Moore: Thank you, Mr. Harrison. Humility will serve you well in life. I’m not sure how that will translate in my courtroom, but carry on, defendants.

Marvin Harrison’s supporters: Your honor, we’re simply asking for time and some reasonable expectations.

We’d like to start with the example of Marvin Harrison Sr.

It took him until Year 4 to crack 1,000 yards. Dad’s first two years, he played with Jim Harbaugh and Paul Justin. We’re sure Paul Justin was a fine player, not to mention a fine Arizona State Sun Devils quarterback, but … .

In Year 3, Dad had rookie Peyton Manning, who threw 28 interceptions! Jameis Winston and Vinny Testaverde think Manning was wild that year.

Year 4, it all clicked.

Also, consider Trey McBride. He didn’t break out until Year 3. Now, he’s one of the best players in the sport.

Marvin Harrison Jr.’s rookie numbers are pretty similar to Drake London and Amon-Ra St. Brown. And no one is questioning their No. 1 status.

Judge Moore: OK, I’ve heard enough. Mr. Harrison, step forward, please. I’ve got an additional question for you.

Last season, your jersey wasn’t available in the team shop over a legal dispute that’s been resolved. Fans will now be able to wear your jersey to games.

What does that mean to you?

Marvin Harrison Jr.: I’m glad we got that situated and people can wear the 18 jersey. It’s always amazing to see people support you, especially little kids … It definitely means a lot.

Judge Moore: Thank you, Mr. Harrison. I’m ready to rule.

In the case of the Haters v. Harrison, I find that the plaintiffs are being unreasonable in calling for Maserati Marv to take a backseat to Keenan Allen, Amari Cooper or anyone else.

If Cardinals general manager Monti Ossenfort thinks a veteran presence will free Harrison up by attracting attention from safeties and preventing Harrison from being double-covered, by all means, he should go get Allen at a reasonable price.

But no one should be calling for Harrison to take a diminished role in the offense. That’s just ridiculous.

Marvin Harrison Jr. is definitely a No. 1 receiver on a playoff team. He just needs a little more time to get established.

*Bangs gavel*

This court is adjourned.

Reach Moore atgmoore@azcentral.comor 602-444-2236. Follow him on X, formerly Twitter,@SayingMoore.

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